today were talking about imperfections. and on that note why does imperfections sound like a nice thing? maybe because most of the word is "perfections?" and how appropriately artsy/dramatic is this picture above? (shaking my own head and my own self.) onward!
you know those things about yourself that you were born with and therefore just have to get over? well it has come to my attention recently that my imperfections (or the ones that i see anyways) are redonkulous and weird and i feel like i am the only person who struggles with these things you know?
1. first, we will start my body hair. gross, i know. but fun fact, i started shaving my legs in third grade. my brothers liked to call me woolly mamoth (character building?) when i was a little kid because thick, dark hair on a fair skinned little tot is not the most attractive sight. so i asked my mom if i could shave and she said yes. you might be thinking, "your mother let you shave that young?" and my answer to you would be: that was how bad it was. i remember the day after i shaved my legs for the first time i flaunted a pair of capri pants to school. man, did i feel glamourous. i remember sitting on top of the lady bug at recess with my posse (and my boy crush) and just letting the sun light mystically reflect off of my newly smooth and glamourous legs. and then puberty set in. and the hair grew with a vengeance.
2. a vengeance, i tell you! my legs have in fact not stopped producing an immense amount of hair. nope. i shave them everyday. yep, everyday. or i should say, every time i take a shower. which lately, isn't that often. the hairs that come out of my legs are like toothbrush bristles too. seriously, my friends can vouch for me scratching them with my legs at sleepovers during the night. how disgusting is that? i know, i'm gross. basically body hair and i are not friends, we're not even acquaintances. but me and laser hair removal, one day we will be great, great lovers. i could go on forever about body hair disgustingness but believe me, i wouldn't want to tarnish this blog with that kind of awful descriptiveness.
3. and for number three, i'm calve-y. yep, i've got a pair of calves on me. this one i got from my mama. my sister, did not. so that's cool. sometimes, there are pairs of skinny jeans that don't fit my calves. i look like a little stumpy minion in basketball shorts (something that haunted me all of my pre-teen years.) and i can't wear boots with tall, thick socks because there is too much calve for that much boot.
4. now, my intense receding hair line. this is just a curse under kincaid genetics. every one of my siblings has it and my niece was born with the most intense one ever (she's still the cutest though.) people see and it and say "oh she's just a baby it will go away!" and then i procede to pull my hair back and say "nope. it's ain't goin nowhere." my receding hairline haunted me for most of my athletic years. wearing my hair up was a struggle because i didn't want to look like will arnett, you know? so i would pull it back into a ponytail and then try to cover my hairline with my longer bangs. what always ended up happening those was that the covering pieces would fall forward and i just looked like i had two bald spots on the sides of my head. seriously, girls at basketball practice would ask if i had a bald spot. luckily however, i don't have a receding hairline than comes down into a widows peak. so thank god for that. but no cute little sock buns or top knots for me. if anyone struggles with a receding hairline and knows how to properly wear it up, you let me know your secrets, okay?
so you just read that. or maybe you didn't cause it was too effing long and that's okay, i understand. but the point of this whole little confession session was to point out that most of things that i hate about my appearance are straight ridiculous when i write them down. and honestly, that's probably how everyone is. did you just feel like you read that line out of seventeen magazine? cause that's how i felt when i wrote it. hey, kendal and kylie jenner, look how inspirational i am. tell your editor to give me call cause there's more where this came from. well, there's like maybe three articles worth.
and with that, i guess my message to all of you is to love yourself? really i just wanted to bitch about my random issues as a, ahem, lady, cause i am one. could you not tell?