OH, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN | OR THAT TIME WE SAW AARON CARTER
//we started the night by showing up an hour early to wait in line. gotta get those good spots, you know? we waited and waited and when it came time for doors to open, the time was pushed back because....aaron carter was out getting a tattoo before the show! wtf, bro! i paid seven dollars for this shiz! naturally, my roomie tweets about it (more on this later.)
// so we got good spots. second row. and then the rest of the crowd started to file in. and then it started. as more and more people joined the mob, more and more people started trying to push their way to front. and then all hell broke loose.
//aaron finally made his appearance after taking a selfie of his new tattoo in our commons bathroom? oh, how the mighty have fallen. and then it just got crazy. there was a group of girls trying to push their way to front and causing the whole crowd to become completely condensed with no room to move an inch. to the girl in the orange hat who was doing this: karma's a you-know-what and so are you. so basically, this was a mob of sweat, blood, and tears. and i don't mean this in the usually expression type way. we were all crammed so tightly together, people were pushing and shoving, girls were crying, and brawling...
//we didn't even get through the second song when i looked at the girl next to me who had tears in her eyes. i asked if she wanted me to leave with her and she nodded. we made our way through middle of the mob and i swear i wasn't sure if i was ever going to get out. are you rolling your eyes at my dramatics? this was serious people!
//but we make it out. and i find my friends, who all had a similar traumatic experience trying to escape.
//we dance off the rest of the concert in the open spaces in the back. and yes, aaron carter sang all of the classics. i want candy, how i beat shaq, and aaron's party, they were all the closing songs. and then you remember that aaron carter is twenty something and he is still performing the same songs he did on lizzie mcguire. oh, how the mighty have fallen.
//the concert was under an hour, with some really fabulous bro'd out backup dancers (like, where did you find these guys? a frat house function in southern california?), and aaron ended the whole thing by saying "yo, listen up. aaron's party? it never ends." which was very vague, i think was supposed to be an attempt at sexual innuendo? and also aaron carter, no one ever even liked you that much, you were just nick carter's little brother. so there.
//oh! back to the twitter thing i mentioned earlier. aaron carter replies to my roomie telling her that the concert was not delayed because of his tattoo and to "be chill, girl." she then woke up to a private twitter message from aaron himself telling her she's "a cool chick"? so yeah aaron carter sort of attempted a booty call at my roommate? oh, how the mighty have fallen.
and now you know that if you ever get the chance to go to an aaron carter concert, your seven year old vision of him will be severed by the cold hard fact that he is lameballs. but it will be hilarious, so go anyways.