as i may have mentioned here on this blog very un-casually and in a obviously boastful way, i own a small baking business. i use the term "own" loosely because it just seems unfair to the real business owners of the world. i mean i have the license, the business cards, all of the social media platforms, and even some jobs to show for it, but as donald trump always says, "you ain't no business owner until you have your own pens." no, the donald has never been publicly recorded saying this. yes, he may sue me for misquoting him and his precious enterprise, but i'm really only worth two pairs of birkenstocks and a package of costco string cheeses that's been sitting in my fridge all year. and yes, slight digression. and i did get a pen with "sweet petite" written on it in the mail from a pen promo company, for the written record.

so i thought: hey, it's been a while since i've blogged and i really have nothing to say. oh! but i do have pictures...business related! and thus, this stupid post was born. from one business owner to my mother and spam sites (the readers of this blog) here are my tips to becoming a successful, ahem, businesswoman.

1. you gotta look the part to be the part. hence, my danksos and chicballs bidnez cards. brand yourself people! and worry about the taxes and certifications and liability insurance and invoice drama later!

2. refer to your clients as "clients" (or your brides as "brides", in my case) in front of not only your friends (they will be super annoyed but refer to number one above) but strangers as well. sound sophisticated, you know? even if you just worked a family function and everyone there has a blood line obligation to be nice to you.

3. get on pinterest and copy the cool things that other business owners do. after all, all you did was pay sixty bucks for a piece of paper declaring you legitimate! you don't know what you're doing!

4. shamelessly promote yourself. but do it in kind of a joking, witty way so you sound charming and they are intrigued by what you have to offer.

and then just own that business! yeah, you! own it! ha, see what i did there?
business consultation is available at an hourly rate for everyone who is interested.

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